A Silent Part of Pieces, No More!

Hi Pieces,

Hope your tip back was ok. thanks again for coming all this way. i'm sorry i was under the weather, although it only got worse. we've all been absolutely sick as dogs, unable to go on our vacation. in fact, barely able to leave the house.

Little-Star told me out of the blue this morning that you told her that she had been rude to you during your whole trip here. as you can imagine, she is quite upset about it, mostly because she doesn't understand what she did. i'd like to try to help her figure this out, because it is obviously heavy on her mind, beyond the capacity of a little 5 year old girl to understand or resolve on her own.

sis


A month & half later......


Dearest Sister,


I am glad that Little-Star brought to you, our exchange. I had a remarkable experience with her that day. She really made her own choices. She took part in our exchange, being her own person from it's start to it's conclusion. It was nice to see and feel such individualism coming from her.

I realized only after I said the word "rude" to Little-Star, that it was not right. That it had nothing to do with her behavior towards me. But it was out there already, I had used it, and she had heard me. So I then tried to do my best to explain my feelings, rather then to harp on a word that was improperly used.

I want you to know that I did not yell at her nor was I loud. I did my best to have her understand that I love her dearly, no matter what, and that I wanted to play and be with her, now and for always.


The exchange that brought me to share with Little-Star that I thought she'd been "rude" with me, was when we were in the midst of having another push-pull exchange, which had been happening since I'd arrived there. This one was about a drawing.

She had asked me at one point, how I drew my flowers, I showed her, that was fine, but she informed me that hers were better. When she was done, she then asked me how I made my grass, I showed her. At that moment Eee happen to be walking by us. She then, with an abrupt gesture got Eee to show her how she would draw the grass. And after she was done, Little-Star informed me that Eee's way was now better than mine. It was the way she was speaking to me about these things that felt "rude." Because her voice and tone had gotten louder and more disrespectful, with the exchange made at that time, I then let her know how that made me feel.

I asked her why was she talking to me like that, that it was "rude" and hurtful. She chimed in that No I had been the one that was rude the whole time. I then gave her several examples of when she'd been this way with me, since my arrival. I tried to be as detailed as possible so that she would have a better chance at remembering each of the moments. She listened quietly.

I told her two things, one that it was wonderful that she had so many people to play with and that they could show her many ways of doing the same thing. And that she had the right to do those things any way she wanted to. But that she didn't need to talk to me like that, in order not to do them the way I was, or not to play with me, and instead play with someone else. That her sounding the way that she had been, was "rude." And that she'd been doing it since I came for my visit. And that it hurt my feelings at times, that it made me feel sad. When I shared that last part with her, she had a look of utter shock at not realizing what and how she did things effected others. (my opinion here)

The next part of that exchange, these were very intermingled with one another, was me asking her why had she been copying the drawing I'd been making for JMan. She'd been copying it, item per item, and the placement for each item, were exactly the same. Her response to not drawing her own drawing, was that she couldn't draw, that she didn't know how to, etc. I told her Sure she could, we'd been drawing all along, during all of our meetings in her life time, including in NY too. And that I had drawings at my home to prove to her that she could certainly draw what was in her own mind. She looked at me in utter shock - eyes open wide, mouth open wide, down to the floor almost. She looking up at me with a face of total disbelief, asking me "Really?!", "Really?!", a few times over.
"Yes indeedie!" I told her a few times over.

Very soon after that, we fell into silence. And I saw her start to draw her own things on her picture, and also move herself, just a tad closer to me, closer than she had ever been the entire visit. In silence, we were finally, just for a very short time, really playing together.


I am sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you about this. I wanted to be really clear on the exchange that took place between Little-Star and me that afternoon. Since there had been two-in-one, they totally overlapped with one another, and I really needed them clear in my own mind, in order to inform you better as to what happened, and what was said on both our parts. I hope this clarity helps you, in helping Little-Star to have a better understanding of what she and I shared on that afternoon.
She handled herself wonderfully, as a person with her own mind and her very own choices.

I am risking saying the wrong thing here, because I love you. And because I respect you as your own person, and as my sister. And because I want to respect myself, and my own person, and take responsibility for the choice I made, brought about by the work I have done.


I love you both, dearly.
Pieces of Parts


In that afternoon......


Dear Pieces,

Thank you for your very thoughtful response. It certainly helps me understand and will help me with Little-Star too. She loves you enormously- no matter what.

baci

sis