A Father's Plight

From: My Mom
Subject: Contact
Date: February 3, 2006 11:45:46 AM EST
To: Pieces of Parts


Dear Pieces: This long silence had made me extremely unhappy. I would like to renew conact.
Also I hope you will respond to the following invitation:

We are in the process of making plans to go to CA: Mar. 55-220
Mar. 55, evening arrival
Mar. 66, #2 kid has somekind of special day at school
Mar. 77, San Diego to see Famous Person's show
Mar. 88, #1 kid's B'day party (30ish kids)
Mar. 99, #1 kid's 2nd smaller entertainment (4 or 5 kids)
Mar. 220, home
It would be wonderful if you would come with.

All my love, Mom
_________________/____________\____________@

Me to My Mother:

From: Pieces of Parts
Sent: Feb 4, 2006 12:03 PM
To: My Mom
Subject: Re: Contact

Dear Mom,

Renew as you like.

I am not interested in going on another one of these sorts of family
trips.
I have sent a notice to Blood Sister.

By the way, I am aware that you called Shrink.


Love,
Pieces of Parts
_________________/____________\____________@

From: My Father

My Mother forwarded the above letter I sent to her, to my Dad and he responded instead of/for her.
His letter to me:


If Gandhi stood for anything in this world, he stood for tolerance, forgiveness, understanding, love, and togetherness. Pop

_________________/____________\____________@

Keeping Biker involved. His response:

From: Biker
To: Pieces of Parts
Sent: Mon, 06 Feb 2006 16:14:04 -0500
Subject: well.

Your Dad does have a point. All I can say.. Nothing else is surprising to me.
You are doing what you must.
So are they. Let them. Perhaps then they will allow you to in peace.

I love you.
Biker
_________________/____________\____________@
_________________/____________\_______________@

Both my Shrink and I, agreed with Biker's endearing comments made.
They do come from a space within him, that he is very much struggling with. I KNOW this, and TOTALY respect his plight, and love him dearly for facing.

It is a BIG part of letting go of the anger I have been carrying for way too long towards my parents.
If I truly DO want them to accept ME as I am, I must let them be who and how they are.

In that space, I must learn who and how I am, and what I can truly handle and what I can not. What are healthy boundaries, and what is insane - as Tolle speaks of. (Insanity is walking into a situation one is totally aware of, that causes problems for themselves.)

And first and foremost, I must accept who I am.
I am feeling very raw and very vulnerable, very hurt and very curious. I have assumed soooo much about me, according to what others have thought of me, and said to me. I just took much of it all as pure fact. And NOW, now I am questioning ALL of it. ALL that I know about me. Nothing is solid.

I am living in my NOW. It is the ONLY space that makes any real sense to me. When at the same time, NOTHING makes any sense at all!


I have not responded to my Father's e-mail. I have not heard one other word from my Mother. I have not made any communication towards them.
I am just stumped and feel very lost, and overwhelmed. TOTALLY unsure of what sort of relationship I have now with them. And feel that I do not have one at all. I do not really KNOW yet, where to go from here.

So I am just following the faint calling I am feeling within. To do my Art and follow my heart into the Studio to find out what can I do. Show me Pieces, show me.

Who art thee, truly?

Pieces of Parts