Saturday, March 25, 2006

Distinguishing Intuition from Other Voices


Chapter 8

Copied, in parts from the book Developing Intuition: Practical Guidance for Daily Life
by Shakti Gawain



"How do I distinguish my intuition from all the other thoughts and feelings going on inside me?"

The Rational Mind
Intuition

The Responsible Self
The Free Spirit

The Caretaker
The Perfectionist

The Vulnerable Child
The Playful Child

The Doer or Pusher
Being

The Rule Maker
The Rebel

Self Acceptance
The Critic

The Straight Talker
The Pleaser



As you begin to recognize some of these energies inside of you, you can learn to distinguish them from your intuition. For example, if there's a part of you feeling that you should take a particular action, that is probably your inner rule maker or perfectionist, not your intuition. If you are feeling self-critical or judgmental of others, that is your inner critic, or judge, definitely not your intuitive voice.

Intuition never guides us with an authoritarian or critical edge. It doesn't impose rules, it never feels heavy handed or burdensome, it doesn't push us to anything that we're really not ready to do, and it never makes us feel guilty about anything. It's also not self-indulgent or rebellious, and never leads us to do something that isn't good for us physically or emotionally. These feelings come from other parts of ourselves. Our intuition guidance brings a feeling of enlivenment, openness, even sometimes relief and release. It feels good in our hearts and soul. It feels like exactly the right step to take in the moment.


False Cravings and Addictions

It's very important to distinguish between our false cravings or addictions and our true intuitive impulses. One takes us down a familiar road that we know is ultimately futile and painful. The other leads us in a new direction that is satisfying and enlivening.

A false craving is something we think we want, but when we get it, it doesn't really satisfy us or enhance our lives. We are lured by false cravings when we are not conscious of our true needs and desires, or when we don't know how to fulfill them.

When we pursue a false craving to the point where we become obsessive and out of control, it becomes an addiction. An addiction appears to satisfy some of our needs momentarily, but not for long, because it does not address our real needs. In fact, an addiction cause an increasing amount of damage and destruction to our lives and the lives of those around us.

Our addictions are ways we unconsciously try to fill the emptiness we feel inside. This emptiness can only be filled by the things we truly need, such as deep connection to our spiritual source, a close relationship with nature, loving contact with other humans, satisfying work, and a sense of making a contribution. In order to fill those needs, we must allow ourselves to feel them.

Our intuitive self has a unique energy or feeling, and we can learn to recognize and distinguish it from all the other voices inside us. Many of our other voices seem to be located primarily in our head, whereas our intuitive feelings usually seem to come through a deeper place in our bodies. The following exercises may help you distinguish your intuitive energy from some of the others.



Becoming Aware of Your Selves Exercise

Sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes. See if you can become aware of any "selves" that are with you right now, or any voices that are going on in your head. Do you have any sense of who they are? What are they feeling or saying to you? Take a few minutes to be with them and listen to them. See if you can identify any of them from the list I gave you earlier.
Now take several long, slow deep breaths, and imagine moving your attention out of your head and dropping it slowly down to a deeper place in your body - your heart, your solar plexus, or your belly. Imagine that your wise, intuitive self lives in there. Ask if it has any message for you - a feeling, a thought, or an image. Be receptive to whatever comes to you.
Sit with it for a few minutes. When you feel complete, get up and go about your life.


Expressing Different Voices Exercise

If you are feeling a lot of inner conflict about an issue or a decision you need to make, try this exercise:

Get several pens with different colors of ink, and a pad of paper or your journal. Sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Get in touch with some of the different voices that are going on inside you. Choose one of the voice to express, and pick up a pen to represent that voice. Let it write anything it wants to say. They choose another voice, and a different colored pen. Write anything that voice wants to say.

For example, if you are trying to decide whether to make a particular change in your life, you might use a black pen to express the conservative voice in you that thinks it's unwise to make a change, a red pen to express the risk-taking voice that wants to do something new and different, a blue pen to express the vulnerable child in you who is afraid of the change (or who may want the change), a green pen to express your creative voice, and so on.

Continue this until the major voices have gotten a chance to express themselves. you may find that some of them are directly in opposition to others. Don't try to find a resolution right now. Just be aware of all the different feelings and points of view inside of you.

Then take a few slow deep breaths and let your attention move down into a deep place inside. Ask your intuition if there's anything you need to be aware of right now. Be receptive to whatever comes to you. If nothing comes right now, that's okay too.

When you feel complete for now, get up and go about your life.

Don't try to resolve anything or make a decision right away. Chances are that some clarity about this issue or this decision will begin to come to you within a few days or a week or two.

Copied in parts from the book Developing Intuition: Practical Guidance for Daily Life by Shakti Gawain


Pieces of Parts

Friday, March 03, 2006

Characteristics of Codependency (i.e. outer or external dependence)

This list was giving to me by my Shrink a number of years ago.
I find it extremely helpful when trying to identify a feeling.

Following is a commonly used list of characteristics of outer or external dependence.


1. My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you.

2. My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval
from you.

3. Your struggle affects my serenity. My mental attention focuses
on solving your pro blems/relieving your pain.

4. My mental attention is focused on you.

5. My mental attention is focused on protecting you.

6. My mental attention is focused on manipulating you to do it my
way.

7. My self-esteem is bolstered by solving your problems.

8. My self-esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain.

9. My own hobbies/interests are put to one side. My time is spent
sharing your hobbies/interests.

10. Your clothing and personal appearance are dictated by my
desire,
11. and I feel you are a reflection of me.

12. You behavior is dictated by my desires and I feel you are a
reflection of me.

13. I am not aware of how I feel. I am aware of how you feel.

14. I am not aware of what I want - I ask what you want.
I am not aware - I assume.

15. The dreams I have for my future are linked to you.

16. My fear of rejection determines what I say or do.

17. My fear of your anger determines what I say or do.

18. I use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship.

19. My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you.

20. I put my values aside in order to connect with you.

21. I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own.

22. The quality of my life is in relation to the quality of yours.

-----------------\-------------/---------@

The links below are a source of much healing,
with the feelings on the list above.


Inner Awareness - Internal Census

Emotional Incest - emotionally devastating child abuse


The Journey to the Emotional Frontier Within - emotional defense mechanisms


Inner Child Healing - a path to freedom, serenity, and empowerment


by Robert Burney author of Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls